My mom does nothing but complain about me, all the time. All I get every day is snide comments about how I dress or act. Not only does she insult me to my face, but she also does so behind my back, telling practically everyone she knows about how I "dress like a slob and waste my time on the computer all day."
My 7-year anniversary with my mate was yesterday, and not only did either of my parents say "happy anniversary" or act happy about it at all, but the entire day my mom kept trying to make things all about her. I made cupcakes that I shared with my parents, and my mom just complained that I never make cupcakes for her on her birthday. My mate and I had plans to go out to dinner; my dad invited himself and my mom along, but he offered to sit at a different table than us. Then my mom got made at me, acting like I didn't want to sit with her and my dad because I didn't want to be seen with her or something.
Today, she reminded me for about the hundredth time that I needed to finish cleaning up the rest of the stuff I still have from moving in. I have been working on it, but I've had a lot of other things that were time restrictive that I've had to do first (such as art commissions). When I tell her that, she doesn't believe me and says I'm not doing anything important. She gave me until the end of the week to finish cleaning, which I can do, but I have just one drawing I need to finish today before I can do the cleaning. So I told her to let me finish what I needed to do, then I'd get to work. Then, a couple hours later... she literally sneaks up to my bedroom door (which is behind me), so she can watch what I was doing for a few seconds, before she yells "You don't look like you're working on cleaning..." and starts telling me how useless I am again.
The thing that drives me insane is that my mom makes me more angry than anyone else ever has... but I'm helpless to do anything about it. I can't leave, I can't fight physically or throw things, and no one else can help me. So every time I fight with my parents, I have to just keep my anger contained inside me until I feel like I'm about to explode. In high school, it made me pretty self destructive, and I never wanted to feel that way again. I just don't know how else to deal with it.
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It kind of makes me sad that my journal posts end up being so negative. I swear I'm not normally a very dramatic or "bawww" person. This is just the only place I can completely write out stuff like this. Don't mind me.