i dont want to cut anymore...
he hardly helps me anymore, but its not his fault...
i'm beyond help...
i cant make friends in this hell hole... they're already taken...
do you know how hard it is to find someone i can share my burden with?
i dont need petty useless "friends"... i want a best friend... a close friend...
someone i can share everything with...
i thought he would be that for me, but he isn't... he's too obsessed with band (his "other lover") anymore to notice that it hurts me to be so alone...
it hurts him to share with him... and i dont want that... so i remain silent...
*sigh*...
i want a friend like Sansha in real life... it would make all the difference...
i want someone like me who understands and knows how to handle the burden i carry...
someone who won't back away and label me a freak for what i've done and how i live...
someone i can be 100% honest with...
someone to save me and keep me alive...
someone i can help and be there for in return...
someone i can share my life with...
i want him to do that for me... but he doesnt... he wont... and it's all i ask...