Until this morning, I thought Candace wasn't going to get to test with me, but Sifu was kind enough to cover the cost of her fees. It was a really nice thing for him to do, and I was really grateful that she could be there with me.
Got my yellow belt today! Candace and Abby passed their belt tests too. It was a good night.
Until this morning, I thought Candace wasn't going to get to test with me, but Sifu was kind enough to cover the cost of her fees. It was a really nice thing for him to do, and I was really grateful that she could be there with me.
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My mom can be such a bitch...
Christina got engaged a few weeks ago, and it had crossed my mind today... so I asked my parents if they would at all be able to help me get a plane ticket to Ohio to go to her wedding if I got invited... My mom's response was to turn to my dad and be like "Hmm, I dunno. How many times have we had to do the dishes lately?" And I'm like, "...Really?" I mean, Jesus... I've known Christina for like 12 years. She was my best friend, and the only person I keep in touch with from Ohio. My mom apparently has no fucking concept of how important it would be to me to be able to be there for Christina. She doesn't care. How fucking ridiculous can she be? Tonight Kevin and I met up with Candace, Steve, and Abby for dinner.
I was nervous about how it was going to go. Kevin hadn't met any of them yet, and I hadn't met Steve, so I was hoping everything would turn out smoothly. In the end, it was great. Steve was a really nice guy, Kevin thought they were nice, and Abby was a well behaved kid. Couldn't have been better. It felt like the first time I actually felt like an adult making adult friendships. I even found out Candace is 31, not 41 like I thought she said before, and Steve is 7 years older. It makes the age difference a bit less weird, though it never really worried me before. I really like them, and I'm so glad I met Candace. I was giddy by the time we left to go home. I can only hope we can become better friends in the future. After getting home, I practiced some of my martial arts moves with Kevin for the first time. He seemed kind of amazed to see that side of me, and it looked like he was having fun working with me once he got used to it. I was nervous about how that would go too, but it was good. I like including Kevin in my interests. Since I've been seeking out new things in my life, it's nice to be able to show him what I've been doing. I think he appreciates it too. Sitting here at my desk, it's after 1 AM, and I get a text on my phone from a number I don't know, saying simply: "I miss you."
I'm confused, so I google the number. It comes up as something from Iowa, so I have an inkling who it is, but I haven't spoken to her in months probably. Back when I had bared my soul and tried to share just how much she means to me and practically begging her to open up to me. And then I never heard from her. So I figured that was pretty much it. The past few days I've actually been contemplating cutting things off for good with her again, because I know I can hardly control myself with her anyway. So anyway. I respond to the text saying "Who is this?", and I get a reply saying "Sorry, this is Sansha. I thought I gave you my new number." I replied saying I didn't realize it was her, that I missed her too, and asked her what was up. No reply. Like... Really? Don't talk to me for months, then send me a text telling me you miss me? Even though I'm always RIGHT FUCKING HERE whenever you want me? Even though, unlike you, I'm always there when you want me? Jesus... She fucks with my emotions. She doesn't even know it though, and despite the fact that I know she treats me with less respect than I treat her, I... I still like what she does to me. I like how she makes me feel. And no matter how much she blows me off or whatever, I'm pretty sure I'm stuck in her head somewhere too. I fell in love with this girl. I hardly know her anymore, but I've never been able to get over my attraction to her. It hurts in both a bad way and a good way. I feel like I love her and hate her at the same time. I don't know how that even makes sense. |
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