I went out to the kitchen to get some lunch, and my mom was out there. Without saying anything, she took my lunch from my hand and put it down, then grabbed me and hugged me and didn't let go.
She started crying and telling me that she loved me and was sorry I had to go through such a struggle. That she never wanted me to struggle, and that she only wanted me to be able to do whatever it was I wanted to do in life. I started crying too. She told me I was smart and special. That she only pushed me to go to FIT because she thought it would help me get the job I wanted, but that if I didn't want to go to FIT then she wouldn't make me. She told me she was glad to have me around to take care of her chickens, and that she wished I would talk to her more. She worried that I didn't want to be here, and that she liked having me here. I didn't know how to respond other than, "I know."
Then she said she was getting too warm and let me go. She stopped crying, and a moment later she was acting completely normal again. She didn't discuss it further, and I didn't know what to say. To have my mom actually act somewhat loving and understanding toward me for once kind of left me speechless and unsure how to feel.
I want to say it felt good, but honestly it sort of just didn't feel real. I have a hard time believing that she's going to change how she treats me, and I find it hard to trust her loving words when she could go right back to hurting me next week. So I remain guarded for my own protection.
Still... this was a better response than I was expecting, and at least now I feel sure that giving them the letter was for the best. Maybe things will change, maybe not, but at least it did something.