So today I had another class, and Candace was there. She saw me through the glass front of the studio and waved excitedly. When I met up with her inside, she immediately apologized for not being there on Thursday. She had to help her mother move in somewhere, and was too sore to go to class. Then she told me how a guy in the class that she used to partner with has wanted to work with her tonight, but she said she had a "permanent partner" now - referring to me. Training was fine. After class was over, we exchanged numbers so we could keep in touch. :)
A little while after class had ended, she texted me, saying "Hello, love. You get home okay?" and we chatted a bit before she said goodnight.
And I just... I DUNNO.
I... kind of like her. As in, LIKE her like her.
It's weird, and strange. I dunno. She just... keeps surprising me with everything she says and does. I find her intriguing.
I feel a bit silly. I barely know her, and she is twice my age. But she looks young and attractive to me.
I've already had sexual thoughts of her cross my mind. She had joked about how it's been 6 months since she's had sex and her legs aren't used to stretching apart. I had laughed, but I'm almost ashamed to think of what ran through my head. I had images in my head of offering her a massage. Soothing her sore legs. Rubbing along her thighs...
GAH.
I really just want a friend. I'm not really looking to get involved with a girl at this point, but I can't help it. When my head starts thinking of those things.. when I see her catch my eye and grin.. I feel my heart swoon. I would make it stop if I could.
For now, I will have to keep reminding myself that I am only interested in a friendship. I have to control myself. This is ridiculous.