cuz inside i realize that i'm the one confused
i don't know what's worth fighting for or why i have to scream
i dont know why i instigate and say what i don't mean
i dont know how i got this way, i'll never be all right
so i'm breaking the habit tonight
I like her.
I like a girl. Sansha. I like her.
I'd like to say I love her, but I can't. I love Kevin. I like Sansha.
I think about her a lot. I like talking to her... She makes me feel happy. She's the first person I've been able to be completely honest with. So I'm a little afraid...
I don't want to lose my friendship with her. Am I happy just being her friend? I think so. I like her a lot though... I'm sure that if anything ever happened to break up Kevin and I, I'd go out with her if she'd let me. I like her.
It's raining at her house right now. She can't talk because of the thunder... I miss her when she's gone...
When she told me about feeling lonely, I found myself imagining what it would be like to be there with her... To walk through the rain over to her house and curl up next to her... We'd laugh, and she wouldn't be alone anymore... I want to make her happy...
I don't think she knows how much she means to me...
I stopped cutting not just for Kevin... It was mostly for her... I didn't want to give in when I told her she could make it without it... I'd be a hypocrite... I did it for her...
Getting an infection wasn't a worry for me... I didn't even have to worry about rust... There really wasn't much wrong with what I did... I don't even mind the scars... I like them...
But I want us both to be stronger... I want to be able to get through life without cutting every day... Too much is bad, and I'd only want more...
*sigh* But anyway... I miss her... I hope she comes back soon...