I won't get into specifics, but overall I think it will be very beneficial to me to continue... My therapist is very nice and understanding, though not in the overly-nice "fake" way. It felt easy to talk to her, and it was just nice having someone to talk to at all about everything that eats me up inside. It's tough to cram a lifetime of issues into hour-long sessions though... I feel like I did a ton of talking, but only barely scratched the surface about anything.
The biggest thing that I took away from it though was that it felt really good not just to talk about how I feel but to have someone very clearly define how a lot of what I deal with on a daily basis is not okay and it's not normal to live with these kind of feelings. I know it might sound kind of weird, feeling good about being told I'm not okay... But I think that's all I've really wanted for a long time now. I know I'm not okay, but because I spend so much time trying to hide it from everyone else, I don't think anyone has ever really been able to see how damaged I really am. And for once, I can let someone in and not have to be terrified about what they might think of me.
For years, I've tried sharing my feelings with people I care about... Even from people who know quite a bit about my situation, most of the time I'm simply told, "That's just the way things are, live with it," or, "You shouldn't let it bother you so much." I feel a little more confident now, knowing that I haven't just been overreacting all this time... That I'm not just over-dramatizing things... My problems exist, and for valid reasons.
Accepting that, and being able to talk to someone who can acknowledge that, I think will end up helping me out a lot in the long run. I don't know how long it might take me to make any real progress, but it feels like it's a start, and that's all I was really hoping for.