Today we got into an argument over one of my chores. I do the dishes at our house. My parents and I used to take turns, but a few months or so ago, my parents decided that they shouldn't have to wash dishes anymore and gave the job to me. I hate doing dishes, but I do try to be a reasonable person when it comes to helping out around the house, so I said okay.
Only problem is, my parents have the habit of yelling at me to do the dishes every time they pass the sink when it's not empty. I swear, 60% of the time my parents ever talk to me, it's about the dishes. Not even exaggerating. My parents and I don't talk a whole lot on a daily basis since I keep to myself in my room and they're always busy with work and whatever, so the only time they ever really talk to me is when they want me to do something. And they don't ask nicely. They whine and complain and yell until they get what they want.
Now imagine living with that all the time. For years, even. Every other day, hearing them whine about the dishes. Even when we shared the job, I'd still get yelled and whined at for it.
I do wash the dishes. I do my chores. With the exception of a week that I was sick, my parents haven't had to wash a single dish since they gave the job entirely to me. I know I need to do it, and I get it done, but they yell and complain because I don't do it the way they want it to be done. They want them done in the morning; I generally have more time in the afternoon. They want them done every day without exception; some days we don't use enough dishes to fill even half the dishwasher, and I'm not always home to do them every day. If I'm not home for one day, they'll leave the dishes there to pile up and then yell at me because I'm not "keeping up" with it. If we happen to use a lot of dishes or big pots and pans for any particular meal, the sink fills up immediately, and again I'm yelled at for not "keeping up" with it. I'm expected to make the dishes my number one priority - even when I have paid freelance and commission work I'm trying to finish. Nothing I do could ever possibly be more important than keeping that sink empty 24/7, apparently.
And, of course, they never say anything positive to me when the sink is clean either. It's either yelling, or nothing.
Back when they gave the chore entirely to me, I made it a point to ask my parents not to nag me about doing the dishes. That I would be willing to keep all of them clean, but I only asked that they let me do it when I have the time for it, not whenever they happen to walk by the sink and look at it. I just wanted them to trust me to get it done. My dad said okay.
So naturally, my parents started doing exactly what they said they wouldn't do. They both constantly nag and yell at me about it.
I'd gotten sick a couple weeks ago, and since I was feeling like death, I asked my dad to wash the dishes for me. I was expecting maybe two days off from it, but for the next several days, he kept washing the dishes. Every time I'd go to the sink intending to wash the dishes, they'd already be cleaned. So I was like... Okay, whatever. >_> I still wasn't feeling that well, so I figured maybe I'd take over the next week or something.
As it turned out, the whole time my dad kept doing the dishes that week, he and my mom were secretly furious with me because I wasn't washing the dishes. But he kept washing them. Then one day he just up and decided to stop doing the dishes again - without telling me - and got more (secretly) mad at me because I didn't figure out that I was supposed to take over again. After a couple days, he finally asked me to do the dishes, but it was shortly before bed time and I had something I needed to work on that night, so I decided I'd wash them in the morning. I had no idea that he was already mad at me when he asked; I didn't think it would be that big of a deal to wait just overnight.
I got up the next morning, did the dishes, and found out our internet wasn't working. I went to ask my dad why it wasn't working - he fixed it, then told me, "I had shut off your internet. We were tired of waiting for you to do the dishes."
I explained to him my confusion about the time when I was sick; he didn't care. It was all my fault, my parents were mad at me, and no explanation could be a good enough reason for why I didn't have those dishes done. Ever since then, it's been even worse. My parents get more and more mad at me and yell, and I get more and more frustrated with them.
Today I finally got fed up with all of it and reminded them of what I asked for when I agreed to wash all of the dishes. I told my parents how much it frustrated me to hear nothing but yelling about it all the time. I told them how it makes me feel like they think I'm stupid because they act like I don't know enough to tell on my own when the dishes need to be washed. As if I need them to tell me there are dishes in the sink. I'm not blind, and I know when the dishes are due for washing.
Their response? "We have the right to tell you to do the dishes because you're not doing your job. And you're way overreacting. We don't yell at you."
...Right. So when my mom was raising her voice to me two minutes earlier, I guess that was just really-loud-angry-talking? Sure. I can see how that's a completely different thing and I'm just making all of this up.
This is what happens when I tell my parents what bothers me. "Nope. We're right, you're wrong." It's two against one; I don't have a chance. I either keep my mouth shut and let my anger and frustration shred my insides to pieces, or say what's on my mind and have my parents knock me down over and over again.