I'm scared of how my life has turned out. I'm scared of what may happen. I'm scared that nothing will ever work out for me. I'm scared to take risks. I'm scared that I'll never have anyone to trust. I'm scared that I'll never be able to leave. I'm scared that no one will ever give me a chance. I'm scared that I'm going to break down. I'm scared that I'll never have enough or be enough to live the life I want to live.
I wish, with everything I have, that I could be the kind of person capable of throwing caution to the wind and jump into the wind just to see where it takes me. But I'm not. I wasn't born that way, and I don't think it's an attribute that I can even learn. So much fear and paranoia has been drilled into my head all my life that I'm now terrified of HAVING a life.
What the hell am I going to do?