My period just took its fucking time getting here. It's been pretty much a full two months since my last one.
I've never been so happy to see my blood, lol.
I feel like I should be more relieved than I am, but I dunno. I've been worrying about it for so long that it's almost hard to convince myself that it's not a problem anymore. I mean, even if I'm not pregnant now, I still have to be aware that this kind of situation can possibly come up again in the future. I can't just "unthink" about all of the hypothetical situations that played out in my head over this past month. I can't just "unsay" all of the conversations I had with Kevin about this. As long as I'm having sex, it is a very real possibility.
But... I guess if I am glad for one thing that came out of this, it helped show me another example how strong and mature my relationship with Kevin has become. This was a real problem that real long-term relationships have to overcome eventually, and I am happy that I never once felt in fear that Kevin would leave me or be mad at me over this. Our sex life was on the rocks a little bit maybe, but with the anxiety, even that was understandable and not so bad.
Ugh... now that I know I'm not pregnant, it feels like that whole month of waiting wasn't even that long of a time. It felt like three years when I was going through it.
I can't wait to tell Kevin the good news tonight~