Because none of it matters.
She lives in Iowa. I live in Florida. We couldn't be together even if we both declared undying love for each other.
And I'm so tired of the drama and stress that has come with flopping back and forth about it all every time I talk to her.
It's always the same thing.
One moment she and I are great. The next, she's not talking to me. The next, I have to be encouraging as she goes and dates other people. The next, we're flirting. One day I feel like she and I are doing great, the next I feel like "why do I bother?" At one time she'll seem so perfect and familiar and close to me, and the next she's like a stranger that I don't even know anymore.
But the bottom line is this.
Nothing can happen. No matter what I wish would happen, none of it really matters. She has her life, and I have mine. We are separate. The only way any of it could even possibly change at all is if she and I ever meet up in RL. Which, based on how things have gone thus far, is a very slim chance.
I'm doing nothing but milking a fantasy and hoping for something that will probably never be. So why should I waste my time and emotions on it?
Yes, she's my friend. Yes, she means a lot to me. Yes, I want to keep her in my life.
Anything beyond that is irrelevant.