anyhow... my cravings. about those. this is another entry, after all.
for my own purposes, since to tell the truth would just be asking for belittlement, i will refer to the object of my desire as phagillus. funny-sounding word, no? it has its own meanings in my head, i assure you. just picture a small cake, or hard candy perhaps; whatever tickles your fancy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so. you [my hypothetical subject] see the phagillus.
i'd bet you'd be hard pressed to find anything like it. something so smooth and tempting you can hardly help yourself.
its lustery shine draws you to it, and when you open your mouth, you can feel the satisfying twinge of its slight tartness on the tip of your tongue. greedily you shove it into your mouth until you've finished that bit, but there's more on the table before you.
quickly, desperate even, you swipe up as much as you dare without appearing rude to the host providing you with this precious delicacy. more phagillus plunges into your eager mouth, and you feel it all over again: the delightful twinge, then the sweet satisfaction of consuming the phagillus.
later you are forced by common courtesy to leave the party where the precious phagillus is provided. you drive home thinking about how good it was, and, after coming to grips with the fact that you will most likely not be tasting it again until your friend hosts a party again (for the phagillus is very expensive and your friend is quite rich while you are not), you call yourself satisfied. you do not assume you will feel the want for the phagillus again until you set eyes upon its sweet shine again.
you are right, for a while.
a week passes and you find yourself thinking about the smooth, tangy texture of the phagillus, about how it felt having it against your tongue. you are mildly irriitated since you know there is nothing even similar to ease your craving for the phagillus. moodily you begin eating things you do not even feel you want because you've found as long as you don't feel hungry in the slightest bit, you will not feel the need to fill your stomach with the phagillus.
after a few more days, you realize you cannot go on shoving your face all day simply to keep your mind off the phagillus. you finally give in to its powerful temptation, and as the weeks pass, your life savings you have been keeping safe so faithfully are steadily draining into the cost of the phagillus. it is the only way you can get your hands on that succulent taste again and still have enough money to live. you know full well what you are doing to yourself (or rather, what the phagillus has done to you), but you cannot resist its pull.
finally, when your pool of savings has turned into a mere puddle, you decide you cannot ruin yourself further like this. you just cant get the same satisfaction from the phagillus when you know you are causing your doom by consuming it.
so, you contact your friend who first introduced you to the substance. you give in and tell him how much you need the phagillus, and, it is left to him to decide your fate. your friend can either accept and give you the phagillus you so deeply desire, or he could refuse, and you could possibly become the laughing stock of the entire surrounding territory, becoming ridiculed for your insane addiction.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ridiculous story? maybe. i did just make it up off the top of my head, after all; no previous thought dedicated to it. but its what i go through, to an extent.
the specifics you will never know. *smiles*
and if you think this means i'm hooked on drugs or something of that nature, you're wrong. nothing to do with such vile substances. i don't sink that low.
and i never said my cravings were for something edible.