I'm making plans, and I feel like I'm headed in a specific direction instead of wandering aimlessly through space.
Kevin has been working with me to start our future together. We're going to look for jobs together, find a home together, and just move on together.
Having him with me makes me feel less alone in the world. I feel like even though I've been disappointed in how my future has unfolded thus far, as long as I have him with me, things will work out in the end. We'll make them work.
But all of this is overshadowed by the fear I still feel...
I know my mother will never approve. She will see this development as a shameful sin. She never trusts me to know what's best for my life. She only wants me to do what she thinks is best. For all I know, she'll stop talking to me.
That would be a blessing if I wasn't so clueless about everything involved in caring for my own house. I need someone to teach me.
Likewise, I'm not sure how Kevin's parents will take it. I can only hope they'll understand.
And what if Kevin and I can never even make it to that point? What if we can't find jobs that pay enough to afford our bills?
I don't know...
I'm trying not to think about it.
It's just nice having some kind of light at the end of the tunnel again, even if it is a dim one for now.