I thought maybe she was running over with a previous appointment and for some reason needed the privacy. I waited until a couple minutes after 11, then tried the door again. Still locked. Deadbolt still in place.
I decided to call her office phone. A man, her off-site receptionist, offered to call her and see what was going on. She didn't pick up, but he left her a message for me. I knocked on the door. No answer.
It was humid, warm, and rainy, so I went back to my car to wait.
By 11:20, she finally called me. I had already lost half of my time with her.
"We had an appointment today, did you decide not to come?" she asked. I told her I was there. That I had been waiting, and tried to contact her, but the door seemed to be locked. "That's weird... Let me go check."
She said it wasn't locked. That she didn't change anything; simply pushed the door open and it gave. But when I went back around to the office door, the deadbolt was very clearly pushed all the way open now. I don't know if I can believe her.
It is a petty thing, and I'm sure she had no harmful intentions either way. Even if she was lying about the lock, it felt more easily acceptable than the other possibility I had been considering. That I had been completely forgotten...
I do not wish to accuse her of being a liar. I believe her to be trustworthy. But this did shake my confidence. It will make me more cautious when I arrive at my next couple appointments.
Today's topics:
- Being assertive
- Looking for jobs close to "home" (i.e. seeking out connections through people close to you)
- My parents value money differently than I do. Our disagreement about our values is was causes many of our issues. (Holding money over my head in order to control me. Never doing something for nothing in return.)
- Cutting
- Previous thoughts of suicide
- Ask Mrs. D about jobs at FIT
- Talk to Kevin before cutting, as a preventative measure, instead of afterward
- Set up an exercise schedule
- If one planned exercise fails, always have a backup. No excuses.
- Quality of sleep / nightmares and anxiety.