Dealing with Anxiety and Negative Thoughts July 17, 2012 by Ameranth
There’s this voice in my head that is constantly telling me not to do things. Don’t write that post, don’t go outside, don’t talk to that person, don’t tweet, don’t bring attention to yourself. Because you’re stupid, ugly, nobody likes you, going to make a fool of yourself, have nothing worthwhile to contribute. People don’t really care what you have to say, people don’t actually like you they just put up with you, people laugh at you, hate you, find you annoying. I could go on but I think you get the idea.
That voice is my anxiety. It’s stupid and illogical and annoying. I know it’s all false and just my brain being an jerk, but it feels real. Most of the time I deal with it by either telling it to shut the hell up and go away, or to ignore it.
But some days that voice gets louder and louder and more convincing and I just can’t ignore it anymore. Those days I give up. I don’t go out of the house, I don’t participate much online, and I stick to activities that have zero pressure and just pleasure. Nothing productive. Nothing that matters. Instead I play video games or read a book or other purely relaxing activities.
And I am totally 100% okay with that. Those days are pretty few and far between lately, and I totally think everyone needs an off day. A day where they give up and just wallow.
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I’m pretty up front with the fact that I have an Anxiety Disorder. It’s nothing new; I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. A lot of people are impressed or shocked or amazed or whatever about me walking across America, but I think the people who know me in real life were some of the most shocked. The fact that I willingly went out into the world by myself and talked to strangers every single day, alone….I think that was a more shocking fact than the actual miles covered.
I’ve gotten a few emails asking how I deal with my anxiety. I…haven’t written back to any of those emails and I’m really sorry about that. I was planning to, but I just couldn’t think of how to answer. And then the more time that went by the more anxiety was attached to the email and then I just ignored it because of the anxiety and….yeah.
The fun cycle of anxiety:
anxiety > panic > depression > more anxiety > more panic > more depression > anxiety > panic > depression...
So I thought I’d write something up here. This might be a little disorganized, but I figure just write it down and get it out and maybe it’ll be helpful to someone else.
Recognize Negative Thought Cycles
Recognize what is the Anxiety talking and what is Reality. It sounds silly and simple, but the deal with anxiety is that it can seem like normal logical thoughts and conclusions, but it’s not. Anxiety is illogical and ridiculous and insidious. It seems so logical and real, but it’s not. It’s lies and paranoia. As soon as you can recognize and separate these thoughts things will get a lot easier.
Stop the Cycle
If you can recognize the thoughts you can stop them. It’s not easy, but with practice it will become easier.
Anxiety manifests in a lot of repetitive thought cycles. I find myself focusing on one thing – maybe that embarrassing incident in 1992 – and no matter what I try to think about it just keeps circling back to that embarrassing incident in 1992. It won’t leave me alone. I legit have anxiety and panic attacks about things that happened years ago. It’s ridiculous.
The trick is to put a stop to the repetitive negative thoughts. I have to realize what is going on, and then put on the mental brakes. I sometimes speak out loud, saying “No” or “Enough” or make a slashing signal with my hand. Sometimes I even say “No. I am thinking about This now.” and then proceed to purposely focus on another line of thought.
I also have ADD, which means it is ridiculously hard to focus my thoughts on one thing and to keep that focus for any amount of time. It means I’ll distract myself successfully only to not notice my thoughts wandering slowly back to Anxietyville. So this whole stopping the cycle thing can sometimes last quite awhile. I just keep plugging along and eventually something will stick and distract me.
Write it Down
If the thoughts are really just not going away, I find that sometimes writing them down helps suck them out of my head. It’s like the thoughts are spinning tires in my mind and writing them down somewhere helps them get a grip and take off. Private journal, blog, tweet, email, Facebook status – just get it out there.
Ignore
This sounds silly, but I just ignore it. I just constantly tell myself not to listen to those anxiety and fears. It’s not true, it’s not real, it’s not helpful.
For example, I have a lot of anxiety about dealing with people online. I’m pretty nervous about dealing with people anywhere, but online I get nervous because there’s no body language to read. There’s absolutely nothing but words and even those lack tone. (I also have a slight reading comprehension disability, so that doesn’t help.) I tell that voice in my head that I don’t care, I’m doing it anyway. So what if people think I’m stupid? So what if people ignore me or laugh at me or whatever else? I want it and it makes me happy and I’m having fun, so shut up.
I’ve gotten to the point where the litany of nervous thoughts are mostly just background noise most of the time. Like crickets, always there chirping away and only occasionally, if you focus in on the noise, does it become annoying or unbearable.
Give In
This…might not be the most helpful advice. But some days I just give in and wallow in my anxiety and depression. Some days I just curl up in bed and ignore the world. Obviously this isn’t a healthy approach to take often or for prolonged periods of time, but I think everyone needs a day now and then to just stop fighting. Everybody needs a break once in awhile.
I’d like to point out that I’m not an expert or trained or anything. This is just advice from one person who has been dealing with anxiety for years. Just things I’ve figured out over time and thought might be helpful for others. If it is, awesome! If it’s not, move right along.
And if you have some helpful tips for dealing with panic and anxiety, feel free to share in the comments!
Edit: The above are all focusing on the thoughts of anxiety, not an anxiety or panic attack. My advice for dealing with an anxiety or panic attack: keep breathing. I just focus on my breathing and calming my heart rate. I breathe in and out slowly for awhile until I’ve calmed. Sit down so I don’t fall down (I often get really light-headed and shaky or numb legs), and focus on solving the problem instead of the actual problem (or whatever the trigger for the attack was). Basically I say to myself “Okay. This is ridiculous, what is the problem.” or “Okay, this is what we’re going to do.” or “Stop overreacting and calm down, it’s not that bad.” I do a lot of self talk.
Edit 2: After panicking a bit after publishing this post (heart rate is still a bit jumpy, ha) I thought of another tip: walk away. Kind of goes along the lines of Ignore, but basically just get up and leave whatever it is alone. Get up and distract yourself. Do something that will engage your mind and leave no room for anxiety. As for me, I am going to go play Guild Wars and see what my good buddy Nicholas is collecting this week. (I’m a little in love with Nicholas and Professor Yakkington. One of my ultimate favorite additions ANet gave us in Guild Wars.)