I had another dream about Sansha.
This is the third one that I can remember.
I don't think I've had a chance to write about my dreams that included her before. There have now been three, and those three dreams have been the best three dreams I've ever had. Apparently, the only "sex" dreams I have include Sansha - though it isn't quite sex. I don't know why.
The first was a couple years or so ago. I dreamt that Sansha and I were sitting on a couch somewhere, and there were two random girls having sex on the floor in front of us. It made Sansha very uncomfortable, and so I shielded her from it. I hid her head against me, and at some point we kissed.
The second was very short, but very memorable. Sansha was a vampire... sort of. There was a pool of blood on the ground. She looked up at me, knowing I like blood, leaned down against the ground, and licked at the blood while looking me straight in the eyes. That was it, but it was... very hot.
Last night, I dreamt that I went to visit Sansha at her house. The house was in a big wooded area. There was quite a bit of irrelevant stuff that happened as we were hanging out... But at one point in the dream, we were both in the guest bedroom where I was sleeping. I laid back on the bed, and she crawled on top of me. We kissed. Really, really kissed. God... it was great. It felt so real. Her lips were soft and gentle. She felt so warm against my body and hands. She was amazing. We kissed for a few minutes, and then stopped. The dream continued for a while longer. For some reason, my mom came to pick me up from the house to go home, but I didn't want to leave. Sansha and I went out in the woods and talked for a while before I had to go. She ended up taking a pair of shorts I'd been wearing and keeping them because they smelled like me; and she gave me some of her shorts for me to have. It sounds weird, but in the dream world, it was incredibly sweet... to take something that smelled of me. Just like how I used to like sleeping with one of Kevin's shirts, because it smelled like him...
Usually my dreams have always been either nightmares or just plain psychadelic-weird. These three dreams are the only ones that I've ever been able to remember that were fantastic. I loved them. I didn't want them to end.
The only other sex dreams I've had that's been anywhere close was one where Kevin was planning to go down on me - though it didn't actually go anywhere, it was just that, "planning." And there was another dream I've had where a completely random guy that kind of looked like Mick from Moonlight started to seduce me, but that didn't go anywhere either. And neither of those dreams gave me the same feeling when I woke up. The disappointment of finding out that none of it was real.
I'm learning that maybe I'm kidding myself whenever I think I'm over Sansha. I don't think I'll ever be over Sansha. I'll always love her. I've just learned that it's not my place to act on those feelings. It would jeopardize my friendship with her, and is not likely to work out as it is...
Those dreams...
Dammit... what I would give to feel her lips against mine just once...